Ou Est Le Boeuf
by teanc09
Summary: A story about Mac's craving that turns into so much more.
1. Chapter 1

Many thanks to iworkwithpens for all of her input!

* * *

Mac was sitting at her desk late on a Saturday morning. For once there wasn't anyone else in the office. She had been working on a few projects that she couldn't get to during the week.

After she'd finished up all she wanted to get done she began looking for a place to have lunch. She was craving a hamburger. An honest to God greasy burger made from beef. She rarely ate red meat but for some reason she was craving beef. She was Googling for a recommendation.

Will had stopped by his office to pick up something he'd forgotten when he saw Mac's light on. He walked over and stood in her doorway. "Hey"

Mac smiled and looked up at him. "Hi, what are you doing here?"

"Came to pick up a file, you?"

"Currently I'm looking for a place to have a great hamburger."

He was taken aback. This was Mac. She rarely ate red meat and he couldn't remember the last time she had a hamburger. "You want a hamburger?"

"I know. I've had a craving for a couple of days now for a hamburger. Where would you go? Best place around here."

He came fully into her office and sat down. "I know the perfect place. It's a little hole in the wall but they have the best meat. It's never frozen and they cut their own fries."

"I'm sold. Where is this place?"

He smiled at her. "Come on, my treat," he said getting up. "Let me buy you lunch."

"You don't have to do that…."

"Please have lunch with me Mackenzie. How often is it that you're craving a hamburger?"

She smiled at him. "Thanks. I'm not exactly dressed appropriately," she said.

"You're fine," he said. "Meet me in my office when you're ready."

"Thanks. I'll be right there."

He walked back to his office with a smile on his face. He found the file he originally came in for and was cleaning up his desk when she walked in. She was wearing running tights, bright purple and gray running shoes, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. She was pulling her hair back while she stood there waiting on him.

"Are you sure I'm dressed appropriately?"

"You look great," he said coming around his desk. He put his arm on her back and said, "come on."

Lonny drove them to a very small restaurant not too far from the studio and waited in the SUV after making sure the restaurant was clear for Will.

"So, what do you get here?"

"How hungry are you," he asked placing his hand on her back, leaning down a little. She was so much shorter than normal.

"I'm pretty hungry."

"Okay," he said pointing out a couple of different options for her. She ordered and then he placed his order and paid for their lunch. She got their cups and filled them with Diet Coke and found a place to sit.

He joined her in the booth. "Thanks," he said when she pushed his soda to him.

"Thank you for lunch," she said smiling at him. They really hadn't had any time alone out in public.

They chatted about office gossip and when their food arrived Mac smiled. "This is exactly what I was craving, thank you," she said and placed her hand on his arm.

He smiled and said, "you're welcome. I hope you enjoy."

They both ate their burgers and shared fries. He even remembered to get her mayonnaise for her to mix with ketchup for her fries.

"Thank you," she said smiling at him.

"What are you doing this afternoon," he asked. He was hoping to persuade her to go to Brooks Brothers with him. She had great taste in clothes and she had always helped him shop.

"No plans, why?"

"Do you want to go shopping with me?"

"Where are you going?"

"Brooks Brothers and maybe Armani."

"I'd love to go. What are we shopping for?"

He thought she was excited about shopping. She actually was excited to be spending time with him outside of the office. "Casual clothes. I'm playing in a celebrity golf tournament next weekend and need some nice casual clothes."

"Where's the tournament?"

"Martha's Vineyard."

"The Vineyard will be nice this time of year. Is it a charity event?"

"It is, that's all I know. My agent set it up."

She finished her burger and put her napkin on her plate. "That was great, thank you."

He smiled at her. "You're welcome. Thanks for coming with me." They were being very careful around one another. They hadn't been out alone at a non-work function in a long time. He was having a great time with her. He always had a great time with her any time they were together.

As they left the restaurant he asked, "do you feel like walking?"

"It's going to freak Lonny out, but I'm in." Will spoke to Lonny, who as Mac predicted, didn't like the idea of him out on the street, but he agreed to trailing them in the SUV. Will grabbed a ball hat and his sunglasses and put them on.

As they made their way to the store Will saw a large tourist group coming their way, taking up the entire sidewalk. He stepped back against a building and pulled Mac against him just as they started by. She was holding herself very still. Will had his hand on her hip and partially across her stomach, holding her to himself. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, "gotta love tourists," he said with a smile and she relaxed back against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He was enjoying this closeness, as was Mac. He was concentrating on her neck and how close he was to her. He thought he caught a scent of vanilla. After the last of the tourists passed, he stepped out and they began walking again, very close to one another.

When they entered Brooks Brothers he took off his sunglasses and hung them on his shirt. They had refused assistance as they walked in explaining they wanted to look around.

Mac went to a rack of pants and found a pair of nicer corduroy pants in a camel color that would look great on him. She found his size and held them, continuing to look. She picked up some golf pants and chinos for him to try on as well. She picked out some sweaters and casual shirts for him to try along with the pants.

When she met him at the belts he had a few items he wanted to try on as well. He smiled at the items she'd picked out. He was touched that she knew what size to pick out, she remembered.

"Thanks. Come sit while I try these on," he said walking to the dressing room area. He took his hat and sunglasses off and asked Mac to hold them for him and walked in to a dressing room. Mac sat just outside in a very comfortable chair holding his things for him.

"Any requests," he asked from within the dressing room.

"The cords with the dark oatmeal sweater, and a collared shirt, do you have one in there?"

"No, no collared shirt."

Mac asked the gentleman assisting them for a button down dress shirt in a sixteen and a half collar size. Will smiled to himself.

The gentleman handed Will a shirt to try on to see what the sweater would look like. Will put the outfit on and came out to show Mac. "What do you think?"

She smiled at him and looked at him, head to toe. "Turn to the side," and she looked from that angle and then, "turn around," and finally, "face me, please." She got up and walked all the way around him, looking at him from different angles, her hand running along his waist as she came around him and winked at him.

"Well?"

"Perfect," she said smiling at him. "You look great."

He smiled at her. "Thank you. What would you like to see next?"

"Your choice. I think this is my favorite one. I love this color on you," she said touching his arm.

He smiled and said, "right back."

While she was waiting on him she took a seat again. He showed her everything that they both picked out. He ended up purchasing all of the items that she chose and none of the ones he chose. She had great taste and knew what would look good on him. While they were packing his purchases he stood behind her chair and placed his hands on her shoulders, causing her to look back at him. She smiled and wondered what he was up to. He leaned down and kissed her head. "Thank you for helping me pick out clothes."

She turned and said, "you're welcome. I love to do this." All the while she was wondering, what did the kiss mean? "Are we going to the Armani store?"

He didn't want her to leave, so he said, "please, if you have time."

"I've plenty of time," she said handing him his hat and sunglasses.

"Thank you."

The drive to the Armani store was full of chatter and teasing between Will and Mac. Lonny wasn't sure what had changed, but something had, he thought to himself, smiling. He parked and walked them to the store, keeping back as far as possible. Will, once again, had his hat and sunglasses on.

When they were greeted at the door Mac asked if Vincent was working. The greeter called Vincent and he appeared. "Mackenzie," he said, kissing her cheeks and broke into Italian. Will had never heard her speak Italian and didn't know she knew the language.

"Will McAvoy this is Vincent Roselli." Will shook his hand. "Vincent and I used to be neighbors in Rome when we were teenagers," she explained. He smiled and nodded.

"Have you lived here long," Will asked.

"A few years now. What may I assist you with today? What are we shopping for, anything specific?"

"Will is looking for some casual clothes. Dressier but still casual."

"Let me show you a few things," he said.

Will placed his hand on her back and said, "I didn't know you spoke Italian."

"Vincent taught me Italian and I taught him English."

"Look around here and I have a pair of pants that I think you'll like. Do you prefer a flat front?"

"Pleated," Mac answered for him. "Sorry," she said placing her hand on his arm, "do you want flat?"

He smiled at her. "Pleated, please." Vincent left them to find the pants and he pulled her to his side. "Thanks for your help."

"You're welcome. Vincent will find us, let's look around and see if you see anything you want to try on."

They wandered around looking at the clothes, each touching the other to get their attention. They moved to the underwear section and he asked her, "do you like boxer briefs?"

She smiled at him and said, "yes. I think they are very sexy, but I'm not the one wearing them. Have you tried them?"

He shook his head.

"Do you want to try some?" When he hesitated she added, "you'd look great in them, trust me."

He didn't know how to react. They were flirting with one another but was he just torturing himself. He'd had a great time with her, he always had, the voice in his head argued. Was he ready to be with her again? He needed to decide.

"I don't know, Mac."

"You don't have to," she said, squeezing his shoulder. "There's Vincent."

Will took the clothes and the pants that Vincent brought to a dressing room. Mac was waiting outside for him. He tried on the pants and loved them. When he showed them to her, she agreed, he had to have these pants.

After deciding on the clothes Vincent said he would take them to the front. Vincent kissed Mac and thanked her for stopping by and suggested they have dinner soon, to which she agreed.

"You and Vincent," he asked her when Vincent had left.

She figured out that he was asking if there was anything going on with them. She smiled and said, "he would prefer you over me, sweetheart."

He nodded, accepting her answer.

"Why?"

"You seemed close."

"We've been friends for a long time."

"I miss you, Mac. Today reinforced that. Yes, I see you almost every day and we talk everyday, but it's about work or the news. We don't hang out and go do things together."

"I didn't know that you wanted that, Billy."

"I do want that, I want to spend the day together and go to movies, all that. I guess today just reinforced that for me."

"Okay, we can do all of those things. " She could tell he was still worked up. "How about we go get your clothes and we go talk some either at your apartment or at the brownstone?"

"Brownstone."

"Okay, we'll go to the brownstone and sit on the roof, how about that?"

"Sounds nice. I'll go pay for the clothes."

Mac found Lonny and waited with him for Will to finish up. He had his sunglasses on when he joined them. They made their way back to the SUV and Will explained that they were going to Mac's.


	2. Chapter 2

She let them inside the brownstone and asked, "do you want something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

She led them to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "Sam Adams, white wine, soda and water."

"Sam Adams, please."

She grabbed two and handed him one. "Want to go upstairs?"

"Sure," he said. As she passed him, he stopped her and took her into his arms and held her. "Thank you for today," he whispered in her ear.

She hugged him back and said, "you're welcome. I had fun."

They stood there, holding one another until she leaned back and asked, "what's going on, Billy?"

"I don't know," he replied and released her.

"Let's go upstairs, come on," she said taking his hand and leading him upstairs. When they went out on the roof he saw that it had been remodeled since he'd been there. There was a fireplace now and what looked like an outdoor kitchen.

"This is nice."

"Sir David thought it needed something the last time he was here, so this is what came of his idea."

"I like it."

She led him to the chairs and said, "sit, please."

"Is the fireplace wood or gas?"

"Wood, up here, gas in the living room."

They chatted for a few minutes until he said, "today was the best day I've had in a while and that was because of you, Mac."

She took his hand and said, "thank you. I enjoyed being with you, too. Are you all right, Billy?"

He got up, breaking their connection, and began pacing in front of her.

"You don't have to answer, it's all right," she said pulling her legs up onto the chair and wrapping her arms around them.

He could see his non-answer upset her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm confused. I'm getting all sorts of signals from you but I have no idea what you really want to happen here."

"I'm sorry."

She shrugged.

He stopped pacing in front of her. "I've loved you since I met you, that's never changed, Mac. Never."

"But," she added for him.

"I don't know. I don't know if there is a but."

"What does that mean?"

"Today reminded me how good we were together. I want that back."

"We aren't those people any more, Billy. We've changed, circumstances have changed, but that doesn't mean we can't be better than what we were before, either."

"All I know is I want us, you and me together."

She got up from her chair and with her hand on his neck pulled his mouth to hers. When she broke the kiss she said, "I love you, Billy."

He pulled her against him and hugged her tight. "I love you, Mac. Can we go in and sit by the fire and talk some?"

"Sure, come on," she said taking his hand and walked back to the living room. She turned the fireplace on and sat on the couch. "What do you want to talk about?"

He picked their joined hands up and said, "this. How do we do this?"

"I think that depends on what we want to happen. We love one another and want to be together, but we've not been in a romantic relationship in a long time, we need to get to know each other, really know the other, again."

"So, we what, date?"

"Why not?" she asked.

"It feels like it should be more."

"How so?"

"We dated for two years, I don't care how much time passes some things just don't change."

"I agree, but we've changed due to circumstances and experiences so that needs to be explored and the best way I know to find these things out is to date."

"When was the last time you dated someone? Seriously dated, not just went out for dinner and never spoke to the person again."

"Wade. He put me off dating."

"He was a prick and used you, that's not your fault."

"I should have realized."

He squeezed her hand to make sure he had her full attention. "Listen to me, Wade didn't deserve you. He used you, that's not love, sweetheart."

"I know."

He smiled. "I know you know that, but do you believe it?"

She smiled at him. "I'm working on that part."

"Come here," he said, pulling her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you trust me?"

"Completely."

"Okay, trust me when I tell you that Wade didn't deserve you. You've got to forgive yourself for Brian." He felt her stiffen when he said Brian's name. "I can talk about this, can you?"

She eased herself off his shoulder so she could see his face. "Yes."

"You screwed up, but who hasn't? I certainly have, we all have."

"But I hurt you with my screw up."

"You did, but you know what, I understand why now and that's what's different."

"When did you come to this conclusion?"

"When I realized that I was hurting myself even more by keeping you at arms length when all I wanted to do was to have you in my life, whatever way possible."

She pulled away from him and walked to the fire and sat on the hearth. "You really have forgiven me?"

"Yes. I won't ever forget, but it's not all I see when I look at you, now. I see someone I love very much," he said coming to sit beside her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Billy."

"I know you are and I know it won't ever happen again. I trust you, Mac and I love you."

"I love you," she said and leaned over to kiss him. Their kiss was a first step in their new relationship.

When they broke apart his hand was in her hair and he rested his head against hers. "Will you come to the Vineyard with me?"

"Love to. When do we leave?"

"Friday night after the show. There's a private plane leaving as soon as I can get there. "

"Is there room on the plane for Lonny and me?"

"I'll make sure." Will caught movement out of the corner of his eye. "Do you have a cat?"

Mac pulled back and looked where Will was and saw Percy. "That's Percy."

"He's the size of a dog, Mac. Is he friendly?"

She smiled. "Completely and very goofy; he will even play fetch."

Will held his hand out for Percy to sniff and instead of sniffing Percy ignored him completely and went to Mac. She laughed and pulled Percy into her lap where Will could see him. Will again offered his hand and Percy rubbed against his hand instead of sniffing.

Mac's stomach growled. "Hungry," he asked.

"I am, you wore me out today. Let's see what we have for snacks," she said putting Percy on the floor and going into the kitchen with Will following. After digging through the cabinets she found pretzels and a jar of Nutella.

"We could order food?"

"We'll be doing that, too. I need something now, though. What do you want to order?" She pulled a few pretzels from the bag and stuck them in the Nutella,.

"What are you doing," he asked smiling at her.

"You've never had Nutella?"

He shook his head. She pulled one of the pretzels out, covered in Nutella, and held it up for him. "Taste," she said placing it in his mouth.

She could tell he liked it. "That's amazing, what is it?"

"Hazelnuts and chocolate. I like the pretzels dipped because you get the salty and sweet. Animal crackers are good, too, but pretzels are my favorite."

"What do you want to order, or do you want me to cook," he offered.

"I'd love to watch you cook, but we have no food."

"Mac…."

"I'll stock food, okay? Then you can cook when you want to, I promise."

"How about we go grocery shopping?"

"When was the last time you actually went to a grocery store," she asked.

"It's been a while, I miss it. We could go to Dean and Deluca," he said with great enthusiasm.

"Compromise? I'll go shopping with you tomorrow, if we order in tonight."

"Deal," he said kissing her. "What are we ordering?"

Mac opened a drawer with nothing but take out menus and put them on the island. "You're choice."

He gave her a look. "What, I don't cook and I've got to eat."

He continued looking through the menus until he came to a Japanese place. "How's this place?" he asked, holding up the menu.

"Not great. There is a great sushi place a few blocks away, though."

He shook his head and she smiled at him. She never could get him to try sushi.

He flipped through more menus and saw an Indian place. "How's their curry?"

"Excellent. It's hot, though, even their mild is hot." He resumed his search.

"Turkish, Mac?"

"Great goat kebabs."

"How about something simple, like Chinese. Would you like Chinese?"

She hugged him. "That's perfect," she said and remained in his arms. He'd missed holding her. She was still in her running gear, so she was shorter than he was used to her being.

"You okay," he asked when she didn't move from his arms.

She nodded and pulled back. "I like being in your arms."

He smiled at her. "Good thing, I like holding you." Her grumbling stomach interrupted them. "Right now I think I need to feed you, though. Where's the menu?"

She looked through the menus and pulled out her favorite Chinese place and handed him the menu. "Everything I've had has been good. I'll call in our order when you decide."

"What are you having?"

"Steamed potstickers and orange chicken. Maybe some Lo Mein, too, that's great for breakfast."

"Add some spring rolls and General Tso's chicken, please."

"Done," she said picking up the phone. She didn't even need the number off of the menu. She gathered the menus and put them back in the drawer while she was waiting to order. He stood behind her and placed his arms around her waist, leaning her back against him. Her hand linked with his.

When she disconnected she said, "forty five minutes. Should we have ordered food for Lonny?"

"His wife usually brings him food."

"I didn't know he was married."

"He is and has a couple of kids, too."

"Wow. I had no idea. Are you staying here, tonight?"

"I'd like to, if that's okay with you."

She turned in his arms and kissed him. "That's fine with me. You should send Lonny home, though."

He pulled out his cell and hit pound and the number five, which connected him to Lonny. Will explained he was staying for the night and that they wouldn't be going out again this evening. Lonny said he would drop off his packages with his doorman on his way home. Will thanked him and said good night.

"Let's go sit by the fire," he suggested.

Once they were settled by the fire he asked, "are you sure you're okay with me staying here?"

She moved from her spot next to him onto his lap, straddling his legs, her arms going around his neck. "I am," she said and kissed him from his neck up to his ear and nibbled on the lobe.

"Mac," he said, adjusting himself on the floor. "You need to stop."

"Why," she asked, leaning back to look at him.

"Because when we make love it's going to take hours and we have food coming in about half an hour, now."

"Hours, Billy?"

"Hours, Mackenzie."

"Can't wait," she said with a smile. They chatted until their dinner arrived and then they at in front of the fire, with Percy watching them eat.

When they had finished dinner she took the leftovers and their plates to the kitchen and put food away and washed the dishes.

"Are you ready to go upstairs," he asked her, kissing her neck while she was doing the last of the dishes.

She turned around in his arms. "I am, are you?"

He nodded and took her hands in his and led her out of the kitchen. She, in turn, led them up the stairs. "Percy, bedtime."

"Does Percy sleep with you?"

"No, he's too independent for that, but he does sleep upstairs. The only place he isn't allowed is on the roof. We tried the roof and he almost fell off, so he stays inside now."

Will stopped on the stairs as Percy ran past him, "he can't stare at us making love, Mac."

She laughed, "performance anxiety? You're a pro."

He smiled. "How about I want you to myself?"

"Better," she said, kissing him. "I'll explain it to Percy."

When they made it to the bedroom Percy was sitting on the bed. Mac picked him up and said, "you're going to have to go find something to do for a while, buddy. You can come back later, I promise," she said, kissing the cat and placing him outside her door and shutting it tight.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem," she said. She took his shirt in both hands and pulled it out of his pants and began unbuttoning it for him. Next came the t-shirt and she made sure to tease the skin on his sides. It was their secret that Will was a wee bit ticklish. She unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants off. He stepped out of his pants, kicking them to the side.

He started with her sweatshirt and pulled it up and off of her. Her t-shirt ended up coming off with the sweatshirt and she was left standing there in a running bra. Her stomach was flat and her arms were toned. She looked great and he made sure to tell her how great she looked. He pulled her running tights down while she held onto his shoulder. He looked up at her waiting for permission to remove her underwear. She nodded her head and he kissed her stomach before pulling them off of her. He stood up and pulled her bra over her head. "Gorgeous," he said and kissed her. As they were kissing she pushed his boxers off.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her in the middle, resting himself between her legs. "You okay," he asked.

"Perfect. You?"

"Great. Are you on some type of birth control?"

She nodded. "Pill. We're fine."

He kissed his way down her body and fulfilled his promise of making love to her for hours. They were both exhausted. He was lying with his head on her chest and her fingers were playing with his hair, scratching his scalp very lightly.

"Tired," she asked.

"You wore me out," he teased.

"Sleep, Billy."

"I love you," he said and kissed her.

"I love you," she replied after their kiss.

"Want me to let Percy inside?"

"Please."

He got up and let the cat inside the bedroom. He immediately went to Mac and curled up next to her. "You have to share her," Will said to the cat who was now resting where he just was. He lay down next to Percy and stroked him. It wasn't long before Percy moved off the bed, allowing Will to pull her to rest on him.

"Thank you for letting Percy in."

"Welcome," he mumbled sleepily. Mac wasn't ready to sleep yet. She lay there watching him and when she turned over onto her side, he followed her, pulling her back against him with his arm around her waist. He always had been a close sleeper with her.

He woke in the middle of the night and got up to use the bathroom and when he returned she was on her stomach, asleep. He had never known her to be a stomach sleeper. He'd ask her about it in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning came much too quickly for him. He felt her get out of bed. When she returned he was sitting up waiting for her. "Good morning," she said kissing him.

"Mac," he whined and lay back down. "Too early."

She smiled at him. "You can go back to sleep," she said running her fingers across his chest. "Or you can get up and take a shower with me. Then we can go grocery shopping. Earlier will be better, I think, less people."

"I'll call Lonny," he mumbled into his pillow.

"Okay. I'll be in the shower," she said and left their bed. She had just gotten the shower temperature adjusted when she felt his arms from behind.

"Nice shower." It was made of pebbles and there were multiple jets spraying water onto them. "Lonny will be here in an hour."

"Thanks," she said taking a loofa sponge, added some soap and began to lather him.

"Nice. I like how rough it is. I thought it would have been softer."

"Too much?" she asked.

"Not at all, it's a good roughness," he said and leaned down to kiss her. He reached for her breasts, but she stopped him. "What?"

"If you start now we won't be ready when Lonny gets here. Later, I promise."

He nodded and she finished washing him and then he took the loofa and washed her, making special attempts to tease certain parts of her body. She pulled him close and said, "you'll pay for that, Billy," and stroked him quickly and left the shower, smiling at him.

"Mac," he whined. "I'm sorry."

"What do you normally think about to stop the erection," she asked from just outside the shower.

"That's not normally a problem," he said smartly.

She stuck her head inside the walk in shower. "You're digging yourself deeper."

"Come on, Mac. I can't go to Dean and Deluca with an erection. Help me out here, please."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that when you were using the loofa on my breasts and between my legs."

"I thought it would feel good," he tried.

She saw through him. "Okay, okay, how about I wanted to make you wet."

"Better. I'm going to take pity on you. Know that if you start something like this again, I won't take care of you."

"Thanks," he said relieved.

"Step over here and I'll make you feel better."

"Fuck, Mac," he moaned when she took him in hand and began stroking him. It didn't take very long for her to make him orgasm.

After he recovered he grabbed a towel and dried her, and then dried himself off. He had walked into the bedroom and she walked to the closet and dressing area. After looking in one of her drawers she found what she was looking for, clothes of his. He was sitting on the bed in his boxers rubbing his hair with a towel when she came out in her robe.

"Here," she said handing him the clothes.

"I don't understand," he said looking up at her.

She didn't really want to explain this but she knew she was going to have to, "there's a drawer of your things in the dressing area."

"Why?"

"I couldn't get rid of them and they reminded me of you."

He stood and took her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "God, I love you, so much."

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and replied, "I love you, Billy."

When she pulled back he was smiling at her. "Go get dressed, Lonny will be here soon."

"Okay."

He dressed in the clothes she gave him, a pair of jeans with a polo, and a sweater.

When she returned she had on jeans and a sweater with a turtleneck. She was carrying her running shoes when she sat down next to him. She put one shoe next to her as she put the other on. Will picked up her shoe and looked at the lacing.

"Why is it laced like this," he asked, knowing there had to be a reason.

"It helps with slippage and makes the fit snug," she said taking the shoe from him.

"How far are you running now?"

"Five to seven miles a day."

"When do you have time? You're with me most of the day and into the night."

"After I wake up. There's a treadmill downstairs. I'd rather run outside, but I know that's not the safest option when I run alone."

"Did something happen? You always used to run outside."

She looked at him and smiled. "I used to run with you," she said and shrugged her shoulder. "The treadmill is fine. I make sure I get out on the weekends and run outside in the daylight."

"Mac…."

"I had someone follow me one morning. I got lucky and ran by a couple of police officers and explained. I didn't know it, but there'd been a series of attacks, killings, in the area. I gave a description of the person who followed me…turns out that he was the attacker."

"When was this?"

"Right after I came back from the Middle East."

"Mac…."

"I take precautions now, the experience really scared me."

He took her in his arms and hugged her tight. "I'm sure it did, sweetheart."

She pulled out of his arms and said, "let's go shopping."

"Okay," he said and took her hand and led her downstairs where Lonny was waiting, but he had a feeling that they would be talking more, later.

Mac was quiet on the way to the store, staring out the window, keeping to herself. He needed to make sure she was okay and tucked a bit of hair behind her ear and kissed her temple. She turned toward him and rested against his chest, his arm immediately going around her, holding her close.

"You're the first person I told about that. I'm not sure why I'm unsettled."

"Because it was scary and thinking about what could have happened is too horrible to imagine." She nodded her head against his chest. "I'm glad you told me, you need to be able to share what happens with someone who cares. You can't keep all this inside."

"I know, it's hard, though."

He chuckled, "trust me, I know."

"After it happened, you were the first person I thought about and I wanted to tell you."

"Why didn't you?"

"We were barely even friends," she started and pulled away from him some. He tightened his hold on her arm and pulled her back against him.

"I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could tell me. I was horrible to you."

"You have every right to be," she started and he stopped her by turning her around so she was facing him.

He leaned down so they were eye to eye and made sure she was listening to him, "the hell I do, Mac. I was punishing you and being a bastard. I'm sorry."

"You've no reason to be sorry. I deserved what I got. Maybe it would have been better," she started and the stricken look on his face stopped her. "We shouldn't talk about this, I'm sorry," she said and moved back to looking out the window.

He didn't know what to say to her. She thought he might be better off if she was dead.

"I don't know in what world you think I would be better off without you, but that place doesn't exist, trust me." He could see she wasn't really listening to him.

"It did for years, Will."

"I wasn't better off."

Lonny parked and told them he was going to give them some privacy and to call him before they got out.

Fortunately, for Will, there was no place to run in a car. They were going to talk this out.

"We should go shopping before there are too many people about," she suggested.

"There is only one person I care about at the moment and that is you, Mackenzie."

"I shouldn't have mentioned this to you. I'm sorry."

"What the fuck, Mac? Stop apologizing and fucking fight with me, fight back, this isn't you."

"It's the only me that's left," she said shrugging her shoulder.

"The hell it is. Look at me," when she didn't move he again said, "look at me," and this time his voice was demanding.

She turned to him. "What can I do?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Nothing you've done, nothing, Mac, would warrant you feeling like this. How long have you felt this way?"

"Four years, six months and five days."

"That's the night you left, right?"

She nodded. "You fucked up, badly, but we're here, together. We came out the other side. It took a long time but we're fine. I love you, and I know you love me. You've got to forgive yourself. I think this goes beyond that, though. When you came back Charlie said you were exhausted and I'm not sure you ever took the time to get over that, did you?"

She moved back on the seat, sitting against the side of the car and pulled her legs up in front of her and wrapped her arms around them. She looked really small to him.

"When I broke up with you I lost my safety net."

"Will you explain that," he asked.

"I always knew I was safe with you and I knew if there was a problem you'd make it better. When I didn't have that any longer I wasn't the same. I moved on, but nothing felt the same, you know. I felt safe running outside with you; when I ran without you something bad happened."

"You know that if it's within my power to do something to keep you safe, I'll do it, no matter what."

She nodded. "But it's more than that. It was a secure feeling that I could do anything, and together we could do amazing feats."

"And when we broke up?"

"It's not that I need you to give me an identity but more of an empowering feeling."

"You went to a warzone, Mac."

"That was to escape my screw up."

"You did amazing work and you were by yourself."

"All I kept thinking was how you would have made it even better," she said and shrugged her shoulders. She rested her head on her knees. He saw a tear fall and he pulled her legs over his lap and her into his arms and onto his lap and held her while she cried. She made no move to take any comfort from him, she was still punishing herself.

He eased her off his shoulder and when she was looking at him he said, "you've got to stop punishing yourself; at this point it's not healthy, sweetheart. I've forgiven you, now you need to forgive yourself."

"I don't know how. I've felt this way for so long that I don't know how not to feel this way."

"Do you really think I'd be better off without you?"

"Sometimes. You'd be happier, maybe you'd have met someone, gotten married, had a couple of kids."

"But I wouldn't be the man you make me be. You make me better. You feel safer with me because you allow me to be able to take care of you. I can't be me without you being you. You are the essential part of me being me. While you were gone I was a bastard to everyone. I wasn't growing professionally for sure and personally, I was angry and bitter."

"I made you that way," she interrupted.

"No, you didn't. This went back much further than you. You made me better and I want to make you better. You know that together we can do anything, personally or professionally, right?"

"Yes."

"You know that I need you in every way?"

"Yes," she said, with a little bit of a smile.

"Be amazing with me, Mackenzie, please."

She nodded. He smiled at her and kissed her. "Promise me, something, please," he said.

"What?"

"When you feel this way you'll tell me and we'll talk about whatever you need to talk about. I truly believe what I said that together we are so much stronger. We do that for each other. It's part of loving each other, just as much as helping me shop is, do you understand how much I need you?"

"As much as I need you," she replied and kissed him. "Thank you," she said after their kiss.

"I love you, Mackenzie, with all my heart."

"I love you, too. Did we freak Lonny out?"

"He'll be fine. Feel like doing some grocery shopping?"

"Sure," she said and started to move off his lap, but he held her there.

"I mean it, Mac, together we're stronger and healthier. Trust that together we can do anything, okay?"

"Thank you," she said and kissed him very gently. "I do trust that, and you."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - a special shout out of thanks to iworkwithpens!**

* * *

Will pulled out his cell phone and called Lonny and let him know that he was ready to go into the store. A couple of minutes later Lonny was opening the door for her. When she got out, she turned to Lonny and said, "thank you for giving us some time," and kissed his cheek. Will smiled at him from the SUV.

"No problem."

Lonny walked them inside and then stayed back, giving them privacy. Fortunately the store was still fairly empty. They explored every inch of the store. Will putting more vegetables and food staples into the cart with Mac putting more snack type foods in along with different coffees and wine. Will chose meat for their dinner and then some other to freeze for later.

They were by the deli area when he asked her, "boxer briefs really are sexy?"

She smiled at him and put her hand on his arm, and looked up at him, "very sexy, Billy. You would look amazing in them," she said and kissed him.

Little did they know that they were being watched by someone other than Lonny. Following them around the store and currently watching their interaction was Sloan. She debated going up to them and in the end her curiosity got the better of her. She was standing next to them when their kiss ended. When they looked over they saw Sloan smiling at them.

"Sloan," Mac said.

"Oh God," Will added.

"Yes, it is I."

"I don't suppose that you're going to agree to forget anything you saw," Mac asked.

"You know me so well."

Neither of them expected Will to say anything, but he did. "You will forget, Sloan. Our private lives are just that, private. If I hear anything at the office trust me when I say you won't be happy. You are going to leave Mac alone and not pester her for any information or details. Yes, we are together and yes, we love one another, very much. That's all you need to know and please respect that we want this to ourselves."

Sloan didn't know how to react. Will didn't normally speak this way to her. "Congratulations," she said and walked off.

"Easy," Mac said, her arm around him, rubbing his back.

"She doesn't get to question us."

"She cares."

"I know she does, Mac, but that doesn't mean she needs details about our lives and what happens between us."

"You need to apologize."

"I know, I will. Sloan," he said loud enough for her to hear as she was walking away.

She turned around and walked back to them. "Yes."

"I apologize. Have dinner with us and we'll talk, as friends."

"Your apartment," she asked.

"The brownstone."

"Brownstone," she asked, confused.

"I'll send you the address," Mac said.

"We'll see you about six, that all right," Will asked.

"Perfect, see you later." She walked off to continue her shopping.

"She doesn't know about the brownstone," Will asked.

"No, she's never been there."

"So, she doesn't know," he asked.

"No, she doesn't. The only person that knows everything is you."

"Okay, we will find a way to keep what we don't want out there private. Is there still the trust?"

"There have been some splits with the money and I've not set a new one up yet."

"I'll help you, if you want."

"Thank you."

They finished up the shopping and took the groceries back to Mac's. Will started a pasta sauce while Mac sat in the kitchen watching him create what would become an amazing dish. He created a couple of appetizers and then they spent the afternoon together on the couch in front of the fire. Mac had given him the papers from her father's lawyers to read, while she read the paper and took notes about stories to think about for the week.

Just before six o'clock the doorbell rang and Mac got up to answer. Sloan was on the other side when Mac opened the door. "Come on in," she said, taking Sloan's coat.

"This is a gorgeous brownstone. How long have you lived here?"

"I grew up here. It's been in the family for a long time," she said leading her into the living room.

"Hey, Sloan," Will said. "Want something to drink?"

"Sure, what are you having?"

He could tell she was a bit nervous around him. He got up and came to stand in front of her. "I'm sorry about earlier, Sloan."

"Thanks. I'll take a wine, whatever you have open is fine."

Will walked into the kitchen to get Sloan her wine and brought out a tray of appetizers.

"These are great," Sloan said.

"We've got a lot of food to eat, I hope you're hungry," Mac said.

"Starving, good thing. May I wander around?"

"I'll give you the tour," Mac said taking Sloan upstairs.

When they returned a few minutes later Will was setting dinner on the table. They all sat down and began eating. "This looks fabulous, who catered?"

"Will cooked," Mac explained.

"You cook? I had no idea. You're really good."

"Thanks. Did you take her to the roof," Will asked Mac.

"No, I thought we'd do that after dinner."

"Do I get to ask questions," Sloan asked.

"House rule," Mac said. "Anything said or done here, stays here, agreed?"

"Agreed," Will said. They both looked at Sloan.

"Really? Everything? Okay, agreed," she finally said.

"Yes, you may ask questions," Mac agreed. "If, however, one of us says something is off limits, it is, no further questioning."

"I know you don't want to talk about yourselves, I get that. I accept that and just know I'm happy for you both."

"Thank you," Will said.

They sat around the table and enjoyed each other's company and the excellent food that Will prepared. Sloan made sure to tell him how great everything tasted.

"Thanks. You want some more wine before we go upstairs," he asked.

"No, thanks. What's upstairs?"

"You'll see," he said, taking Mac's hand and led her upstairs with Sloan following them.

Sloan was amazed at the space and the views of the park. "Does the fireplace work?"

"It does."

Will sat on one of the lounges and pulled Mac down with him, to cuddle up. Sloan sat across from them and smiled.

"What," Mac asked.

"You're meant to be together, I'm glad you guys figured this out."

"Thanks," Mac said.

Sloan stood up and walked to the railing, looking out over the park. Mac got up and came to stand next to her. "Are you all right?"

"I am, thanks."

"I'm going to go clean up the kitchen, I'll be back in a while," Will said going back downstairs

"He didn't have to leave."

"He didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Now what's going on, Sloan?"

"I broke up with someone this morning."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

Sloan shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about anything," Mac asked, rubbing Sloan's back.

"His name was Peter and we'd been dating about six weeks. Seeing each other a few times a week, talking, and texting all the time."

"Where'd you meet him?"

"Columbia. He had no idea who I was or what I do."

"Did he live under a rock?"

Sloan laughed. "He doesn't own a tv."

"How is that possible?"

"I know, right. So we dated and things seemed to be going well and then all of a sudden this morning he came up with he doesn't want to be involved with someone on tv that it would take away his privacy."

"You know you're better off without him, Sloan. I know it hurts right now but if he couldn't deal with what you do then it wasn't meant to be."

"I do know that, Kenz, but it was nice having someone there, even for a short time period."

Mac hugged her and held her while she cried. Mac saw Will come back upstairs and nodded her head, letting him know it was okay to come up.

"Are you all right, Sloan," Will asked.

She pulled back from Mac and wiped her eyes. "I will be."

"May I do anything?"

She smiled a watery smile at him and shook her head, starting to cry again and he took her in his arms letting her cry. Mac was rubbing his lower back while he held Sloan.

She pulled back and said, "I'm sorry," to Will.

"No worries."

"You don't need me crying on you."

"Hey, Sloan," he said, making sure he had her attention. "If you need someone to hold you and let you cry, I'm there for you, okay."

"You're a good man."

"You're not the first one that's cried on him today," Mac said, trying to make her feel better.

Will pulled Mac to his side and kissed her temple. He felt her shiver and asked them both if they wanted to go sit by the fire inside. They agreed and went to the living room.

Sloan and Mac were by the fire and Will was on the couch. Percy walked in and joined Will.

"I didn't know you had a cat, Kenz."

"That is Percy."

"He's cute. Will he let me pet him?"

"You can try, he may ignore you, and he's quite aloof."

Sloan sat down and Percy went right to her and rubbed against her, which made her smile.

Mac sat next to Will and he pulled her to him.

"Who taught you to cook, Will?"

Mac felt him tense up. "My mother, a long time ago."

"You cook very well."

"Thanks. Do you want to talk about what happened? You don't have to, but it may make you feel better," he offered.

"I was dating a guy for about six weeks. He broke up with me because of what I do. He didn't want to lose his privacy."

"That's a good story, did you ask him the real reason?"

Sloan looked at him and considered what he said. "I hadn't thought about it until you said something."

"I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you're better off. You deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are and what you do. When you're ready, tell me and I have someone I want you to meet."

"This isn't payback, is it?"

"No, not at all."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I should go."

"You don't have to," Mac said.

"No, I do. I need to do some thinking about what happened."

Mac and Will walked her out and said good night.

When they were back in the living room, on the couch, she asked Will, "are you staying tonight?"

"I'd like to."

She kissed him and he lay back on the couch, pulling her down on top of him, never breaking their kiss. She could feel the beginnings of an erection and reached down to caress the growing bulge. He moaned at her touch and arched into her hand, trying to increase the pressure. His hand was rubbing her ass, going further between her legs with each move.

He rolled them onto their sides with him behind her, his arm around her waist. He unbuttoned her jeans and ran the zipper down enough where he could fit his hand inside, rubbing her abdomen. She made a whimpering noise when he removed his hand. She wouldn't have to wait long. He had his hand between her legs, rubbing through her jeans. He could feel how hot she was becoming.

"You're making me wet," she whispered.

"Good," he said nibbling on her neck. His hand moved back to her abdomen and this time inside her underwear, but still not touching her directly, where she desperately wanted him to touch. He pulled his hand back again and said, "lift your hips." He pushed her jeans and underwear off so he would be able to touch her. He touched her, pressing hard against her. She arched against his hand.

"Feel good?"

"God, yes," she said, playing with her nipples.

He moved his hand to feel how wet she was for him. "You're so wet," he said removing his hand and licking his fingers. "You taste so good, Mac." His hand moved back to her center and he began stroking her, rubbing her clit and moving a couple of fingers in and out of her.

"Fuck, Billy," she moaned.

He quickened the pace of his fingers, quickly flicking her clit. She was moaning and pushing against his hand. "Make me come, please," she begged.

He pinched her nipple with one hand and stroked her rapidly with the other. She came very quickly, panting and screaming his name as she shook in his arms. He withdrew his hands and held her to him as she came down from her high.

When her breathing had evened out he asked, "are you okay?"

She turned in his arms and smiled at him. "Fabulous," she said kissing him. She slipped one hand down to how now very prominent bulge in his jeans. She unbuttoned them and when he lifted his hips she pushed his jeans and boxers down and off of him.

She took him in hand and stroked several times before he stopped her. "What," she asked.

"I need to be in you, Mac, please."

She straddled him, holding his cock and lowered herself onto him. "God, Mac." When she looked at him he had his eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck you feel good."

She began moving, slowly at first and then quicker. He opened his eyes and saw her smile at him. She leaned down and kissed him. They didn't have any room to move around. He stopped her and held her against him and then flipped them over so he was now on top. His thrusts were faster and harder than hers. She was moaning constantly and panting, he was afraid she was going to hyperventilate. He hadn't realized how close she was when she began coming around him, screaming his name. Her orgasm triggered his and when he'd finished he collapsed on top of her.

"Too heavy," he asked.

"No, you can stay."

"You feel good."

"So do you."

"Love you, Mac."

"I love you, Billy."

He stayed there for a few minutes and then turned them over, letting her rest against him. "Sleep Mackenzie. You're safe now. I'll be here when you wake up. I'll be here forever." And for the first time in months, maybe years, Mackenzie slept without fear or worry or guilt. Will watched as a small smile appeared on her face as she fell asleep.

The End


End file.
